Time Isn't Healing
by juhninja
Summary: I just can’t seem to get Herm-- Granger out of my mind. Why did this bug me so much? She shouldn’t be the reason I can’t sleep. Time Isn't Healing by Tom Felton. Read and review, please.


Disclaimer: Characters belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling. The song belongs to Tom Felton. Only own the plot. Enjoy. :

_**Tick tock goes the clock**_  
_**  
Time is going so slow**_

_**And I'm supposed to be fast asleep**_  
_**  
A couple hours ago**_

_'Tick Tock Tick Tock,' 'Whoosh,' 'Ahh-woo!' 'Hoot, hoot!' 'Tick Tock Tick Tock'_

I couldn't take the noise anymore. I honestly could _not_ fall asleep. I should have been asleep for hours now. What was the reason? Not _what_, but _who._Hermione Granger. I know what you're thinking; '_The Mudblood you tortured for 6 years is the reason you cannot fall asleep?'_ I couldn't believe it myself, but I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the common room.

_**Flashback **_

_On the train trip to Hogwarts, Granger found out I was Head Boy. She glared at me, but didn't say a word. There were so many emotions running through her eyes. Fear, anger, hatred, worry, love. Love? I could imagine her head screaming, "_Why did the ferret get the position of Head Boy?! There is no way in _hell_ I can survive a whole year of torture with that Death Eater!" _No, I am not a Death Eater. Despite my reputation, I'm a coward. I know! Who would have thought, _The_Draco Malfoy__ was a coward. _

_I was sitting on the common room couch, writing my potions essay, as Granger walked into the common room with a mountain of books in her arms, her hair more wild than ever; I think I should buy that girl a hairbrush. She was pale, and wore baggy robes that looked 3 sizes too big for her. Her lips were pursed, and looked as if she were going to collapse. "Hey, Granger. Rough day?" I made it sound as if I was being sarcastic, but was confused if I meant it or not. Did I feel sorry for her? Did I honestly care? Was I trying to pull something on her? I don't really know. She put her books down onto a table._

She glared at me, and pursed her lips even more. We stared at each other for a while, so I studied her face. I had this weird feeling in my stomach. I was getting a bit lightheaded staring at her, but I couldn't categorize this feeling. I still hated her, didn't I? My thoughts were interrupted, though, as she said sadly, "Yes, Malfoy. I did have a rough day, not that you care or anything." She muttered under her breath that sounded an awful lot like, "Not that anyone cares anymore…"

_I wasn't sure was the last part meant, so I ignored it. "Oh, but that is where you are wrong, love. I care immensely. Now, come sit down and tell Mother Draco what happened today," I said in the most sarcastic voice I could muster. I smirked at her and returned to my essay. _

_Granger sighed, and walked over to her bedroom door. She was about to turn the doorknob when I said, "What? No comeback? Honestly, Granger, am I not good enough for your thoughts and feelings anymore?" I feigned hurt feelings._

_"Please, Malfoy, not now, of all times." Her voice cracked. So, something _was _wrong. Her back was turned to me, and her hand was out, reaching for the door knob. I looked closer at her, and her shoulders were shaking. _

_"What's wrong?" I asked quietly. Was I really worried about her? She turned around, and I could see her tear-stained face. It seemed as if she asked the very same question to herself. Maybe it was because I don't like it when girls cry, or when anyone cries; or maybe it was because she was always a strong person, always angry, and never put her guard down, or maybe it was a different reason, but my heart twanged as I saw her tears. __Hermione Granger__ was actually crying, and I cared for some strange reason. _

_She wiped off her tears, and scoffed. "As if you cared. Malfoy, this really isn't a good time to mess with my head." She closed her eyes, and shook her head. She turned around once more, and opened her door. I heard a distinct 'click,' notifying me that her door was locked. I could hear her muffled sobbing in her room from the common room. What had happened to make her so sad?_

_  
_  
_**End Flashback**_

_**So I, I need to exercise**_  
_**  
The right I've got to rest these eyes**_

I still can't fall asleep. I really need some rest; there's a big test in Potions in the morning, but I just can't seem to get Herm-- Granger out of my mind. Why did this bug me so much? She shouldn't be the reason I can't sleep. I should be sleeping like a baby now, as any Pureblood would. I just can't stop thinking about what happened today…

_**Flashback**_

_She stayed locked up in her room the whole day. She just cried; the sound of her sobbing didn't stop. She missed dinner. I even knocked on her door and told her it was dinner. I didn't want her to starve; I'm not that big of a jerk. She just kept crying. So, I left for dinner. I continued my cold, heartless façade, and sneered at everyone who looked my way. That Weaslette followed me out of the Great Hall after dinner. She had this plate in her hand, full of food. "Malfoy!" she called. "Wait a second!"_

_I rolled my eyes, stopped, turned to face the red head, and waited until she caught up. I looked at her in a strange way. "Yes, Weasel?"_

_"Can you let me into the common room? I have to give some food to Hermione. Please?" She pleaded._

_"Can't let a Mudblood like her go hungry, I suppose." I smirked at the Weaslette, but somehow, it didn't feel right calling her a Mudblood. I cursed myself for feeling this way. The Weaslette glared at me, and I walked on. I could hear her soft footsteps behind me. I walked on, head high, long strides, and tried looking as superior as always; not that it was hard. We finally reached the common room portrait. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," I whispered. I was still a bit confused as to why Granger used that as the password, but I shrugged it off. "You know the way, I believe." I growled to the girl. She stalked off, apparently angry, but getting food to Granger was more important than a comeback to me. I sat on the couch, opened a textbook, and started on my Transfiguration essay. _

_"Hermione?" The girl knocked on Granger's door. "Hermione, I've got some dinner for you. I know what and Ron said was extremely idiotic, but you shouldn't have to starve." A pause. Silence. "Come on, 'Mione, open the door. We can talk about this!" Another pause. I heard a muffled voice, but I couldn't make out what was said. Finally, the door opened to reveal a really disheveled head girl. Her hair was as wild as ever, her face was pale, her eyes were bloodshot, and she was wearing pajamas. She glanced at me, and I turned back to my essay. I heard some whispering, some shuffling of feet, a door closing, and a click. _

_I went up to my bedroom after I had completed my homework. I was reading a muggle book Granger left on the table in the common room, called __Jane Eyre__. I heard the Weaslette leave a few minutes after I went up to my bedroom. I heard shuffling in the common room, which meant that Granger had finally gone out of her bedroom. I continued reading the book, and sat there for hours, just reading. I was at a particularly romantic part, when I heard sobbing from the room next door._

_**And I, I need to knock on some doors**_  
_**  
Then I won't have to lie here by myself anymore**_

_I listened to Granger cry. I would have thought she'd be out of tears now. This was not the Granger I knew and teased. What happened to the gold hearted Gryffindor? The brave one? The brains? The brick wall? She never cried when I insulted her. She always had a brave face on, and I admired her for that. I finally had my plan thought through. _

_That was it. I was tired of staring at my damned ceiling. I had to know what was wrong. I got up, fixed my hair, (out of habit of course), and walked out of my door, towards Granger's room. I knocked on her door, and said quietly, "Granger?" I paused, and waited for a response. I only heard her crying. I knocked again, a bit louder this time. "Granger? Gran-- Hermione?" Her name rolled off my tongue. I smirked a bit awkwardly to myself, and waited for a response. The crying stopped, silence, then a shuffling of feet against the hardwood. I heard a 'click' and the door flew open. _

_Granger looked horrible. She was red faced, and teary eyed, but her hair was groomed. Her hair actually looked…nice. I wouldn't know how to describe it, but it was wavy, tamed, and soft looking. I actually wanted to run my hands through her hair. I put my act together, though. She was a Mudblood, and I was too good for her anyway. But, oh, if only she were--_

_"Malfoy? Are you alright?" she asked. Typical; she's the one crying, and she asks me if I'm okay. That actually made me feel bad about being like I am. I'm really not a bad person; but if you were raised as I was, you'd hate the world like I did. I learned though; I don't have to be like my father. I won't be my father. What better time to start than now? I took in a deep breath, and exhaled. I opened my mouth to say something but I was immediately interrupted._

_"I must have been a bit loud, right? I'm sorry, I'll stop. Goodnight, Malfoy." And just like that, she closed the door in my face. Was I going to leave without saying what I had to say first? We were civil to each other; we weren't friends. Did I have to right to ask her what was wrong? Could I gather the courage to ask her? Could I throw away my rude comments, and actually be compassionate for once? I threw caution to the wind. I knocked again. She opened the door, a bit roughly, and I could see she was crying again. She opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to the point. _

_"I heard you crying, and it pains me to know it wasn't my doing. I know we're not friends, but do you want to talk about it?" I got ready for a slap in the face, yelling, a slammed door; anything, but not this._

_She sighed and said, "I've got nothing to lose. Come in, Malfoy." She had invited me into her room. We both must be crazy. I actually went in._

_Her room was like mine, just red and gold, rather than green and silver. She told me to sit on the chair at her desk, while she sat, cross legged on her bed. We stared at each other for a minute, and my heart started racing. It wasn't an "I'm scared!" kind of heart beat, but something else. It was a feeling I felt before, with a girl in 2nd year. She was great to talk to; my first crush. She always made me feel normal, and loved. I was in love with her, until she moved away. I never saw her again. I don't remember her name. I just remember the affect she had on me. She's beautiful, I thought. She looked so peaceful, and angelic. _

_"So, Malfoy, what would you like to torment me about?" she asked in a tired voice._

_"Do you want to tell me what happened to make you miss dinner, and cry all day?" _

_She sighed, and closed her eyes. She laughed a little, a pained laugh. She finally said, "Ron walked into the library, and I was reading this new book my parents sent me, so it was a muggle book. He walks in and asks where I was all day. I told him I was in the library, reading. He asked why I was there, when we specifically planned the day to be ourselves, with no Harry, no Ginny, just no interruptions. I apologized, and told him I completely forgot. He stood up, pushed a chair over, and yelled, "I was trying to do a nice thing for you today, and you completely forget? Its taken me ages to plan this thing out, and you blow me off! Do you know how hard I worked? I was going to ask you out today, and you skip it to read a book! That's the last time I ever ask out a bookworm __**Mudblood."**__ Talk about a stab in the heart, huh?" She laughed bitterly. She looked at me and asked, "What are you trying to pull, Malfoy?"_

_"Gra-- Hermione, I'm not trying to pull anything. Check my arm," I pulled up my sleeve and showed her my arm. It was clear, smooth, vacant of any Dark Mark. The expression on her face was shocked, surprised, yet she smiled. "I'm not a Death Eater. I'm a spy; Snape's been training me for a while now. I'm not a bad person; I'm tired of people seeing me as one. Please, believe me, I've changed." My façade faded away into nothing. I was this over emotional bastard that I've been trying to hide for my whole life, and I let my resolve fade because of one girl. _

_"Well, I'll be damned, Malfoy. That'll teach me not to judge a person." Her tears had stopped long ago, and her smile lit up the room. Suddenly, I realized my hatred for her… That was the thing. There was no hatred present toward her. Instead, I felt sorry for her; and there was that feeling in my stomach again. Did I like __Hermione Granger_

_'The man has finally caught on! Took you long enough, mate!' a voice shouted in my head._

_I liked her._

_**I **__liked her._

_**Draco Malfoy**__liked __Hermione Granger_

_'DING DING DING!' a voice boomed. 'Smart one, you are.' I could feel the sarcasm drifting from the voice. _

_"So, I like her…" I whispered to myself. I guess I stated that a bit louder than I thought I had. I looked up at Hermione and she gave me this curious look._

_She opened her mouth to speak. "Who are you talking to? More importantly, who are you talking about?"_

_Shit, shit, shit. I guess I should tell her. She told me her problems. Here goes nothing. "So there's this girl…" I started. I couldn't continue, because she interrupted._

_"Ahh, the Slytherin Prince has girl troubles. I think I can help with this. So who is the unfortunate girl?" she said in a joking tone. I knew she was joking, but her words bugged me a bit. I sighed, and rubbed my head. This was going to be a long night._

_"She's just…brilliant. She's smart, witty, sarcastic, funny, brave, and just…different. She doesn't throw herself at me, while everyone else does. She'd rather read a book, than catch up on the juicy gossip. She's so…real." I sighed, contented with my answer._

_"Sounds to me like you think she's wonderful. What's stopping you from telling her all of this? You'd snag her in no time, Malfoy. No man would have the balls to express his feelings to a girl, but that is the bravest thing any man could do. Just tell her, I'm sure something good will come out of it." She reached over, and put her hand on my shoulder. Shivers went up my spine. She put her hand back in her lap, but the spot where she touched me was still tingling. She smiled at me and said, "You know, you're not so bad after all, Draco." I liked the way my name sounded coming from her lips. I checked the clock on her bedside table. It read 3:00 A.M. _

_"I suppose I should be leaving now. We both need our rest," I said as I stood up. Then I added, "You're not so bad yourself, Hermione. Goodnight." I smiled at her, and I walked out of her room._

_**End Flashback **_

_**Cause time isn't healing**_  
_**  
Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling**_  
_**  
And I, I can't help the way I feel about you**_  
_**  
Cause time isn't healing**_  
_**  
Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling**_  
_**  
And I, I can't help the way I've fallen for you**_

I walked into my room, slowly, and went to my bed. I sat down on the silky green covers, moved them, lie down, and covered myself in my blankets. I blinked.

I stared at my ceiling to pass the time. It wouldn't work. She wouldn't get out of my head.

I couldn't stop thinking about her beautiful locks of golden hair, her heart shaped face, her luscious lips…everything about her. The sound of her voice kept replaying in my head; the way she said my name. She was…perfect.

Was this how it felt to be in love? To think about her every moment of everyday? To compare every girl to her, and no one _could _compare? To feel lightheaded at the mere thought of her? How did I even fall in love with her, when I hated her all these years?

**I did hate her, right?**

All these thoughts drifted through my head. _I guess I can't help the way I've fallen for her._

_**I have a run to try to send me to sleep**_  
_**  
But things aren't all that they seem**_  
_**  
The only time I seem to spend with you**_  
_**  
Is all in my dreams**_

And with that thought, I was lulled to sleep.

_**Start Dream Sequence**_

_Everywhere I looked, there were bright colors. Bright green in the grass, bright blue in the sky. Everything seemed so happy today._

_I sat near a tree, doing my homework, when I see a tiny brown tipped figure in the distance. I stared at it, and waited until it got closer. Who was it?_

_Oh…Could it be…_her? _I stood up, and ran towards the figure, hoping I was right. _

Please be her, please be her, please be her! _I thought. I ran faster. The figure got clearer. Definitely a girl, wild hair, gorgeous._

It was her! _I ran as fast as my legs could handle. I had to get to her! I had to tell her! Finally, I got to her._

_"Hermione!" I cried, and I took her into my arms._

_"Draco…" She looked at me, and smiled. Everything seemed brighter, then. I hugged her tighter. I bathed in her happiness, trying to remember her scent._

_"Draco, I need to tell you something. Its really important," she said in a serious tone._

_"Oh, okay. Go ahead, but me next."_

_"Draco…this may be a shock to you but I lo--quot;_

_**End Dream Sequence**_

"Malfoy! Get up! You're going to be late for breakfast!" An angry voice yelled from outside of my bedroom door, and rudely woke me from my dreams.

"Mmf…mmm…" I groaned. She wouldn't stop that annoying knocking. "UGH. STOP! I'm up, I'm up!" I stood up and opened the door. "Stop it, Granger. I'm awake. That you for being my alarm clock." She nodded, and as she walked away I added quietly, "and for ruining my wonderful dream."

**So I, I need to let her go**  
**  
Would it have worked, I guess I'll never know**  
**  
And I, I need to hit the road**  
**  
And find me a girl of my own**

_I'll never have a chance with her, _I thought. _She's too good for me. All these years of me being a git to her; I wouldn't forgive myself. I doubt she would. _

I sat at the Slytherin table, staring into space, leaving my bacon and eggs untouched and uneaten. Somehow, my eyes wandered on the back of a unruly haired Gryffindor. Potter and Weasley were on either side of her, making her laugh. I guess that meant they all made up again. I wished I could be the one making her laugh like that. I'll never be the reason she'll smile.

I guess I'll never know if we'd have worked out. If I asked her out, she could turn me down, or take a risk and go out with me. Anything could have happened. I won't risk it though. I wouldn't want to ruin either of our reputations.

I'll just find another girl, I guess. She's got Weasley, right? I can't compete with her best friend since 1st year.

Maybe I'll ask Parkinson out again, to help ease the pain.

_Brrrrrrrring._

Transfiguration time, with Ravenclaws. I walked slowly, and took heavy steps. Today was going to be a long, and depressing day.

Several Hours Later

Instead of going to lunch, I went up to the dorm's right after classes. I wasn't very hungry. I kept thinking about Hermione during Transfiguration, and in Care of Magical Creatures. I wasn't very focused, so I decided to play my guitar to ease the pain. I sang the last verse of the song I wrote very carefully.

_**Cause time isn't healing**__  
_**  
**_**Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling**_  
**  
**_**And I, I can't help the way I feel about you**_  
_**  
Cause time isn't healing**_  
_**  
Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling**_  
_**  
And I, I can't help the way I feel about you**_  
_**  
And I, I can't help the way I feel about you**_  
_**  
And I, I can't help the way I've fallen for you**_

I'm driving myself crazy. I'll never have her. _You're just not trying, _a voice spoke in my head.

_**Why try when I don't have a chance? If I try, there's nothing to gain. **_I countered.

_If there's nothing to gain, then what's there to lose? _

_**Everything; my reputation, my skin, my life.**_

_What if you did manage to snag her? Then what? Will it be a secret relationship?_

_**I never actually thought about that…**_

_Then think about it. You have a chance, just believe. Now that you've got confidence, think about the actions._

I guess my conscience had a point. I'll only have a chance if I believe, if I try. I can't help it if I fell for her. She's just…perfect. Gorgeous, down to earth, smart, witty, funny--

"Draco?" a quiet voice asked from the door. It was wide open; Had I forgotten to shut it?

No one knows the password to the dorm, except the Headmaster, myself and…

"Hermione?! I cried. _Mr. Smooth, _I thought sarcastically to myself.

"You have a lovely voice, Draco. I didn't know you played guitar," she complimented. She smile at me, and asked, "May I come in?"

I only nodded, because my brain couldn't tell my tongue and mouth to speak English. _Did she hear me? Did she know that song was about her? Does she know how I feel about her? _All these questions ran through my mind, as she walked into my room, and sat on my bed, next to me. Her arm lightly brushed my hand, and shivers went up my spine.

"That song was beautiful. She must be some kind of girl, to sing about her. Especially with your door open, when anyone could walk in at any moment in time."

"Ahh, but only 3 people know the password, 4 if you count the old man in the portrait. And yes, she is some kind of girl. She's amazing." I smiled at her, and looked down at my guitar, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"I'm curious. Who's the song intended for?" She asked the question I've been dreading to answer. Could I handle it? Maybe, I could make it into a little game.

"I can't just tell you. It'll be a guessing game. Ask me 5 questions and I'll answer them honestly." I smirked, and willed the butterflies in my stomach to go down.

"No fair!" She pouted.

"Slytherins don't play fair, dear lady," and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I only have one question for you, sir. What's her name?"

"Hey, that is definitely not fair!"

"Gryffindors don't have to play by the rules all the time, you know."

"Her name is…" My heart was pounding so hard, I swore she could hear it. "Hermione."

"Yes?" She looked at me curiously. She was extremely slow for the brightest witch of our age.

"No, her name," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Her name is Hermione Granger."

The room was silent for what seemed like hours, but what might have been only a couple of seconds. Finally, she snapped out of her stupor.

"You can't be serious!" she yelled. "You're just playing a prank on me! Why won't people just leave me alone, for once! Can't I go a day without being messed with?! Honestly, Malfoy, that was the lamest prank you've pulled. Couldn't come up with anything more clever? Like, stuff a boggart in my closet, or hide a Care of Magical Creatures book in my bed? Something that wouldn't make me immune to emotion. There is no way I am falling for that trick, Malfoy. Go find some more material, because it seems as if you've run out." she stormed out of my bedroom, and went into hers. She slammed the door loudly, and left me in my room, to evaluate the situation.

_If I don't, I'm a cowardly fool who will probably lose the love of his life because I wasn't man enough to tell her I was telling the truth. If I do, I'd risk my reputation, and either come out of her room a broken man who got his feelings out, or a completed man who won the love of his life._

I chose the latter.

"Hermione, open this door! Let me explain everything to you!" I banged loudly on her door, and yelled bloody murder. I was not going to give up this easily. "Fine then, I'll just tell you from out here." I took in a deep breath, and exhaled loudly. Here goes…everything. "Its not a trick, I really do love you. As hard as I try, I can't seem to get you out of my mind. I tried going out with Pansy, but I couldn't stop wishing it were you in her place. I know I'm not good enough, but I wish I were. I admire your intelligence, I'm envious that you have friends, and I'm jealous of Weasley, because he doesn't know how good you are, but he gets you anyway. So, hate me or not, I'm glad I got this off my chest." I turned and walked away from her door.

I didn't hear the door open, I didn't hear sobbing, I didn't hear footsteps. I just kept walking, feeling sorry for myself that I lost love, and feeling happy, because I tried. I was almost to my door when someone hugged me from behind. The person sobbed into my back, and had a vice grip on me. It really could only be one person. I turned around, and pulled Hermione into a strong embrace. I patted her hair to calm her down. "Shh, now, love. Its all right. I'm here for you," I cooed.

"You…No…love?…No…can't…Mudblood…Pureblood…lies…" she sobbed incoherently.

"Yes, I do love you. Why are you crying?" I asked.

She breathed in deeply and exhaled. "These aren't sad tears, Draco."

"Then why else would you be crying?" Where was she getting at?

"I love you, too." Oh, I see.

I stared at her, puzzled. Was she serious? She she?

"You cannot be serious. I wasn't playing a game with you earlier…Don't play games with me, its not right," I warned.

"I'm not playing games with you!" she cried. Her tears stopped. "I'm serious as ever, Mr. Lovable. I love you."

It took me a while to believe. Hermione Granger loved Draco Malfoy, and Draco Malfoy loved Hermione Granger back. Alert the press, the Gods must be crazy. The apocalypse must be coming, because I picked her up, laughed, and kissed Hermione, the Muggle born, the know it all, the teacher's pet, the perfect girl, and I never felt more alive in my life. She did the cheesy leg lifting, messed up my hair, pulled away, and said, "Get to class, Draco. Lunch hour's over." She smirked, and walked into the bathroom to wash her face.

I guess you really can't help who you fall for.


End file.
